Deconstructing Presence: Rethinking How We Show Up

We often imagine communication begins when we speak. In truth, communication starts earlier, the moment you walk into a room, the seconds you walk towards the podium, or when your video call window is the main view.

Before you open your mouth, people are already reading, making assumptions about you (right or wrong). They are making these assumptions based on your posture, presence, the amount of space you occupy, the way you move, and sometimes your appearance as well.

Like other animals, we constantly send nonverbal signals. A tilt of the head, folded shoulders, or an expansive stance each carries weight. Nonverbal communication is not a universal language, but it still transmits information. We also know that the more space a body takes up in a room, the more it tends to dominate that room, exactly as birds do in the animal kingdom. These signals not only shape how others see us. They loop back into how we see ourselves. Amy Cuddy's famous TED Talk on power posing brought this idea into mainstream awareness: standing tall and expansive can momentarily change not just how others perceive us, but how we feel about ourselves.

Posture shapes perception on both sides

Research conducted by Abele and Yzerbyt demonstrates that posture affects both our self-perception and our perception of others. Individuals who adopt expansive postures tend to view themselves as more competent and assertive, while perceiving others as less competent and assertive. Conversely, those who adopt closed or contracted postures tend to feel less confident and may view others as more capable. Confidence is the most significantly impacted trait, while feelings of warmth and connection remain relatively stable.

In practice, two individuals can change their dynamic in real-time simply by adjusting their sitting or standing positions. However, emphasizing one aspect of this dynamic can change the entire relationship. For instance, if I increase my size and spread, not only do I feel stronger, but I may also unintentionally cause the other person to feel smaller or to respond defensively.

When power posture helps, and when it backfires

Presence is powerful, but overdoing it can erode approachability and invite resistance.

Popular advice suggests standing tall and being open to fuel confidence. There is truth in that. Yet Rennung, Blum, and Göritz found a more complex interpersonal picture. High-power posers were judged more competent and were more admired. Interestingly, they also elicited more envy and contempt. This paper supports my advice in public speaking seminars: audiences appreciate confident speakers, but excessive stage presence can be off-putting

In other words, strong displays can lift perceived competence, while also stirring negative emotional undercurrents in observers. Presence is powerful, but overdoing it can erode approachability and invite resistance.

The neutral position

When a body has reached its natural expansion, it has also reached its maximum expansion. Finding space within your body requires realising fascial and muscle tension and opening up these spaces.  

At Speakout, we begin our work with a neutral, grounded posture. Think of it as the steady reference point where the body is in perfect alignment, ready to take on any challenge. It is simple, specific, and trainable.

• Feet: hip width apart, weight evenly distributed through the whole foot

• Knees soft, pelvis neutral, spine long

• Sternum soft and open without lifting the chin, shoulders easy, hands unclenched, and space under the armpits

• Breath diaphragmatics, eyes on a soft horizon

• No leaning forward, no leaning backward, full body size without exaggeration.

It's very common to feel uncomfortable in this posture initially, as your body may begin to manifest its typical "neutral patterns," which vary from person to person. Some may want to cross their arms, lean on one foot, or scratch their neck or face, and the list goes on.

Although there is limited time to discuss the importance of this position, I can highlight one key reason. This stance is valuable because, despite its minimalism, it still shows you are present, attentive, and approachable. It signals readiness to act in emergencies and provides a stable base for your nervous system, helping you feel in control.

I am not suggesting that you should remain neutral throughout a conversation or talk; rather, this position is a great starting point and a good anchor to which you can always return. And if you want to feel more comfortable in this pose, you can always step one foot forward by 5 to 10 centimeters.

Attracting Assault: Victims' Nonverbal Cues

Research by Grayson and Stein offers a striking illustration of how subtle movement cues shape perception, even in high-stakes settings. In their classic study, convicted criminals watched videotapes of strangers walking down the streets of New York and were asked which individuals they would target. The results were revealing. People judged as "easy victims" tended to walk with either unusually short or long strides, movements exaggerated in proportion to their body size. They often moved unilaterally, one side at a time, and lifted their feet rather than swinging them fluidly. In short, victim-identified walkers looked disorganized, awkward, or out of sync. Their body parts seemed to move against each other rather than in a natural, rhythmic motion. By contrast, those walkers identified as "non-victims" showed medium, balanced strides, contralateral arm-leg movement (the natural human gait), and an integrated, postural walk. Vulnerability was observed through disjointed movements, while a sense of grounded presence was recognized in a state of wholeness.

Just as the "non-victims" in Grayson and Stein's study signaled strength through groundedness, not exaggerated or shrunken posture walking and natural rhythm, the neutral posture communicates steadiness, approachability, and readiness. It tells the nervous system (and everyone watching) that you are fully present, without distortion.

Presence without performance

As you may have realized, this topic of research and observation is very dear to my heart. This is because our presence is largely formed based on our early experiences, which can send signals about our identity that are no longer relevant.

While I cannot include the deep insights produced throughout our training in this blog, I can share a critical point with complete confidence: rather than aiming to inflate yourself, start by inhabiting yourself fully. You do not need to signal fake power to earn respect. You need to signal clarity, steadiness, and presence.

How you enter the room is the opening sentence in the story people write about you. When you choose soft, neutral, and grounded as your baseline, you give that story a better first line. From there, you can shift toward whatever the room requires—be it more competence or more connection—while staying true to yourself.

References

• Abele, A. E., & Yzerbyt, V. (2021). Body posture and interpersonal perception in a dyadic interaction: A Big Two analysis. European Journal of Social Psychology, 51(1), 23–39. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2711

• Rennung, M., Blum, J., & Göritz, A. S. (2016). To strike a pose: No stereotype backlash for power posing women.Frontiers in Psychology, 7, 1463. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01463

• Grayson, B., & Stein, M. I. (1981). Attracting assault: Victims’ nonverbal cues. Journal of Communication, 31(1), 68–75. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1460-2466.1981.tb01265.x

• Cuddy, A. J. C. (2012, June 28). Your body language shapes who you are. [TED Talk]. https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are